I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
