Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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