did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
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