Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Randomize
