It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
