Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
