and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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