Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
