On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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