The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
