She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
PANTIES FOUND
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