I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
