How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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