Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
