so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
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she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
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Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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