yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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