I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
