Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
