I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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