I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
There's always time for handjobs
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
send nudes
from the living room?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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