He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
wow bdsm is so cute
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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