This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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