Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Randomize
