Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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