I want to walk on stilts...naked
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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