"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
