i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
