so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
