i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
