The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
