great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You may now shotgun with the bride
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize