wanna go halves on a baby?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Randomize
