I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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