well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You did what with his pubic hair?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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