I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
