im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
