take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
