chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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