Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
