So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
