i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
