god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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