Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
