I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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