As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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