I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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