Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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