girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
