I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
