I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
