how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
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Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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