I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
