he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just gift wrapped bread.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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