Where did you get a picture of my penis
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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