No awkward lesbian experiences without me
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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