Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
