So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
