K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize