they need to just BURY HIM!
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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