Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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