You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
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It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
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So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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