12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
